


Hesitant, Then All At Once

by Prettywrittencreatures



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Sokka (Avatar), Gay Zuko (Avatar), M/M, Mutual Pining, Past Sokka/Suki (Avatar), Past Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck, it's just fluff, it's so cute, zukka - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-30
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26725336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prettywrittencreatures/pseuds/Prettywrittencreatures
Summary: Zuko was almost one-thousand percent that he was going to lose his best friend.Sokka had ultimately figured him out.And he had no idea what to do.(OR, in which Zuko and Sokka struggle at figuring out their feelings and it comes out all at once.)
Relationships: Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 281





	Hesitant, Then All At Once

**Author's Note:**

> Hiii!! 
> 
> I came up with this drabble earlier this week, and thought it was too cute not to write, haha! I love awkward, supttering, blushing Zukka okay! It just makes my heart happy <3
> 
> If you liked this, feel free to let me know!! I'd love to see what you guys think :)
> 
> You can check me out on Tumblr: @prettywrittencreatures and @waterboysokka !!

“We have to talk,” Sokka had said. 

  
Those words had sat with Zuko for about a week and a half as he avoided Sokka _everywhere_. He’d see him on his way out of his dorm, and would practically run in the other direction. It was important to understand that it wasn’t because Zuko _didn’t_ want to talk to Sokka about the ‘unspoken thing’ between the two of them, because he did. It was moreover about the fact that he didn’t know what Sokka was going to say involving said ‘unspoken thing’. 

  
He was in love with Sokka. This wasn’t new information, and the night he made that realization, he had cried in Mai’s chest because it was then that he realized that there was, truthfully, no going back. He was in love with a boy who wouldn't ever think of him of anything more than a friend. 

  
It was a constant drought and flood of defeat with his unrequited love for Sokka. A constant, effervescent pull at his heartstrings when Sokka would fall asleep in his lap while they studied in the library into the early hours of the morning, or when Sokka would show up to his room when he knew Zuko was upset with his favorite food and a slew of movies for them to queue up in watch because he, “wasn’t leaving until you feel better.” 

  
There were times when Zuko had thought that maybe it could be more. Maybe Sokka wasn’t some straight dude that he had always claimed to be. He had boarded the sexuality conversation with Sokka a couple of times, but it was always superscored by a comment that solidified his love for girls- especially Suki. 

  
He had been on-again, off-again with Suki for almost a year, and neither of them could figure out what was stopping it from happening, from working. Zuko knew it was because Suki had her eyes on Yue, Sokka’s ex-girlfriend, but if she told him that, it would tear him to pieces. Hell, Zuko wasn’t even sure if Suki herself could recognize it completely yet as the reason. Zuko knew that maybe one of the reasons it continued to fail was something to do with Sokka somewhere, but he just wasn’t sure _what_. Every time he asked about other girls, there wasn't anyone else, only Suki. Suki or Yue. Yue in retrospect, a glance back on their relationship, and now friendship. It had taken a long time to get there, especially after everything that had happened with Yue’s summer in Greece. 

  
So all of this to say, Zuko was terrified of talking to Sokka. He wasn’t even sure when he had found out about the _thing_ between them- or moreover Zuko’s complete idolization and love for him. Zuko had been so careful. He hadn’t told _anyone_ who would ever share it with Sokka, not even in a slip-up or even happenstance. It didn’t matter if he blatantly said it to them, though, because they had brought it up to him multiple times. Katara and Aang had pulled him aside to ask what his plan was, to which he shrugged and said that he didn’t have one. Toph, although blind, was able to pick him apart for it as well. 

  
But Sokka had his head so far in the clouds for Suki that he thought that he would be in the clear. But apparently, he was wrong.   
His plan with Sokka was simple- avoid him forever and then never speak to him again, especially about this. Especially if it meant that he could live in his fantasy daydream with Sokka, somehow holding on to the possibility. Because the minute that they talked, it would be destroyed. 

  
Zuko already knew what Sokka was going to say. He would start with an apology because Sokka was good at those. He would then go into saying something like ‘I’ve known for a while, but I think it’s just getting to a point where I can’t let you live like this’. Because in the real world, Sokka would want Zuko to be happy. He would say something like ‘I’m sorry, I just don’t see you like that. But someone else will make you happy and be able to love you’. Because that _someone_ that Sokka was referring to, wasn’t him. 

  
And that soul-crushing conversation would end with Zuko’s heart shattered into a million little pieces and he would have to live in reality then. The reality of moving on from Sokka. And truthfully, he knew it would happen at some point, but he hoped it wouldn’t be because of that. He also had hoped that he wouldn’t have to move on for a long time. And honestly, he didn’t want to- he refused. Because he was in love with Sokka. 

  
So, when he was invited to Aang’s to hang out and play some video games, he made it explicitly clear that he didn’t want to run into Sokka. Aang, who was confused and asked too many questions (per his curious nature), finally complied and said that he wouldn’t invite Sokka, although he wanted to. 

  
Aang’s confirmation of no Sokka still didn’t make him feel any less anxious, and he just hoped that Aang could stick by his word. 

Zuko was halfway over to Aang’s dorm building when he got the text that he would be running late from grabbing dinner with Katara, so he could go inside and pick the game himself or whatever, he left his extra key under his name slat on the door. Zuko had advised him a multitude of times to stop leaving his spare around like a hide-n-go-seek game and to just change the time of when they met, but Aang was someone who tried to accommodate everyone. This was just one of his ways of not inconveniencing anyone, which always made Zuko roll his eyes. 

  
Zuko had now checked three times to make sure Sokka wasn’t going to be there, and every time Aang assured him that he hadn’t invited him. 

  
_**AANG: Did you guys have a fight or something?** _

  
_**ZUKO: No.** _

  
He trotted his way up the stairs and shoved his phone back in his pocket. The people at the front desk didn’t suspect anything anymore and probably assumed that Zuko lived in the dorms by how much time he spent there hanging out with Aang and formerly, Sokka. Aang lived on the fourth floor, considering that he was a freshman and also had requested a dorm all to himself (and was granted it, which was a miracle all in itself). 

  
He was originally going to room with Sokka, but Sokka decided that all of his money was going towards an off-campus apartment with Katara, which was per Hakoda’s request. Zuko would have an apartment, too, but he liked living close to everything on campus. It made his life easier, and besides, he didn’t need that kind of space or looming debt hanging over him from his dad. 

  
Zuko finally reached Aang’s room, and slid the name paper out of its slat, and let the key fall into his hand. He looked both ways in the hallway before turning it and pushing open the mahogany door.

  
He hadn’t even looked into the room when he heard Sokka’s voice. 

  
“Aang? Dude, that was faster than you said I didn’t-” 

  
His voice cut off as the door immediately slammed and Zuko pressed himself against the outside. Rage flooded his mind and he felt like there was fire at his fingertips. 

  
This was all Aang.

  
Zuko was paralyzed against the door, unable to decide whether to run or to stay. Even so much as hearing Sokka’s voice for the first time in a week made his mind dizzy with happiness. 

  
Zuko felt the door open from behind him and he stumbled backward, unable to catch his balance. “Zuko?” 

  
He fell with an _oof_ right into Sokka, who had his arms latched around him to keep him from falling directly back onto the floor. 

  
Zuko could smell Sokka’s cheap-ass cologne mixed with his strawberry scented shampoo and felt immediate comfort. _God, he had missed him._

  
While he wished that he could freeze the moment in time and just sit there, Sokka’s athletic build wrapped around his, their future unconfirmed for the rest of time, he couldn’t. He stumbled out of Sokka’s grip and whirled around, coming all too close to him. 

  
A look that spoke of question resided in his eyebrows, but as he traveled farther down his face, Zuko saw the hurt that was swimming in his eyes. Hurt that _he_ caused. 

  
Shit.

  
“Are you going to say anything, or are you gonna just stare at me?” Sokka asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His words wanted to have a vigor and disconnect behind them, but the didn’t. They were filled with worry and question. 

  
Zuko dropped his gaze to the floor and refused to answer. He didn’t know how to.

  
“Cool,” Sokka said with a half-hearted scoff. He turned around and walked over to Aang’s couch and took a seat, propping his feet up on Aang’s beat-up coffee table from the consignment shop. 

  
Zuko hadn’t seen this Sokka in a long time. This was the Sokka that came out when he forgot birthdays, or to visit his mom’s grave on an anniversary, or when he forgot to call home when he told his dad or grandma that he would. It was filled with anger- but anger directed towards himself. 

  
Zuko’s heart plummeted as he began to unravel everything. Sokka blamed this on himself. He blamed the even _mention_ of the conversation between them on himself. He thought that he had fucked up their friendship. 

  
He thought that he lost Zuko- and Zuko didn’t care. 

  
So, he took a deep breath and took a seat next to Sokka on the couch, his eyes not leaving the television screen. He watched the animated characters bounce up and down, eager to start the game again. He felt Sokka’s eyes drift over to him, staring at him. Zuko didn’t move. 

  
“I’m sorry.” 

  
There it was. That was what Zuko had been waiting for _all fucking week_. He felt his heart quicken with pace as he anticipated the next words. He was sure that this was Sokka letting him down easy. He was sure of it. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind. 

  
“I… I don’t know why I felt like- like we needed to talk about… it.” Sokka’s voice was quiet still. Hesitant, but level. Sokka was always level with the way he talked.

He had probably practiced this speech a million times- how to let him down easy. It was so obvious.   
  
“And I’m sorry if it made you uncomfortable. The last thing I would ever want to do is lose you as a friend,” Sokka continued. 

Zuko made the mistake of looking at him. His eyes were trained now on his hands, which were picking at each other for the sake of a distraction- Zuko did that. He did that all the time. It was just one of the many habits Sokka had picked up from being friends with him for so long. Zuko also picked up on something else- how unsteady his hands were. They shook every time he let up any tension.   
Zuko’s own hands were shaking, too, but they stated planted in his lap.

  
“And, uh,” Sokka said, his hand traveling up to wring the back of his neck. Zuko looked down. He braced himself for the words that came next. 

He knew them. He heard it in his head ever since Sokka had sent the text. He had even prepared how to reply. How to make it seem like it wasn’t a big deal that his heart would get shattered. 

  
Now it was just bracing for the blow. It would hurt, it would sting. He knew he had ice cream sitting in the freezer. He was ready, even if it made his stomach cut flips. He wanted to get up and vomit in the bathroom because it would be the only thing that could delay this. The only thing that could protect himself from the next words that would be said. 

  
“I- I like you, Zuko.” 

  
Zuko’s eyes shot up from his sedentary stare at his lap, his eyes wide as he stared at Sokka. They were both looking at each other now, terror swimming through their faces. They had both stopped breathing for a second. It was so quiet in the apartment that you could hear someone three rooms over tapping their pencil on their desk if you wanted to. 

  
“What?” Zuko asked, hesitant. His voice barely even above a whisper. 

  
“It just kind of happened, okay? It was like… all at once. Suddenly, it wasn’t Suki who I looked at anymore. Suddenly it was you. Suddenly, I was watching how you chewed your pen when you got tired of taking notes, or-or how you blink really hard when you’re nervous. And these were things that I always knew, right? I’ve known these things about you for _years_. But it was… different. And at first, I didn’t know how to deal with it b-because I didn't think I liked guys. But I liked you? It was a lot for me to figure out… ”

  
Zuko might actually vomit now. Right on Aang’s nice rug. This was his imagination blocking out a traumatic event. This couldn’t be happening.

  
“A-and you don’t have to… like me back or feel like you have to tell me something to make it okay. I’ll get over it, I swear. I swear I will. But I couldn’t keep it from you anymore. It was like… I dunno… I couldn’t live life in a fantasy world where you never knew any of this.,” Sokka continued, the words tumbling out his mouth so fast that Zuko was having trouble keeping up. 

  
At the end of his spill, he took a deep breath- shaky, but there. He laid his head back on the back of the couch, his face pointed up at the ceiling. 

  
Zuko was stunned. His face hadn’t moved from the shocked look since Sokka had started talking. 

  
“Could you say something? Anything?” Sokka’s voice came out in a quiet plea, his eyes trained on the ceiling still. “Please.”

  
“I’m in love with you.” 

  
It was Sokka’s turn to be flooded with a face of utter disbelief. He shot up, His eyes wide and his mouth in the slight shape of an ‘o’. His cheeks became quickly flooded with a shade of deep red, and Zuko felt his ears, neck, and face heat up. 

  
Maybe it was a little too forward. Maybe he shouldn't have said it like that. It didn’t matter how much Sokka said that he liked him, he would still find it creepy and weird how much Zuko loved him. 

  
“Well,” Sokka said, a laugh biting at the end of his words, “This isn’t how I expected this conversation to go.” 

  
Zuko suddenly felt the waves of relief wash over him. This was good. This was really _really_ good. He let out a slight laugh to accompany Sokka’s. One of slight embarrassment and slight relief. 

  
They were staring at each other now, faces red and smiles still all-too shy and hesitant. This was new. It was new for both of them. Neither of them knew what to do, or where to go, or what to say. So they sat there for a minute, staring at each other in an awkward limbo. 

  
“Can I kiss you?” 

  
Zuko’s heart lept through his chest and he nodded, slowly and hesitant. Just like everything had been for the past hour. Sokka’s face slipped into an easy grin and slid his hand delicately to cup Zuko’s face, and Zuko followed in suit as Sokka tilted his lips to match his own. 

  
The kiss was easy. It was right. It was fireworks and a slightly uneasy feeling in his stomach. Sokka’s lips were soft and had met his carefully- calculated. As they kept kissing, though, it turned less like that and more eager. Both of them elated and dizzy and high off of a scenario that was _surely_ a dream. 

  
Zuko’s hands were still shaking, still planted firmly in his lap. Sokka’s hands were everywhere. They were shaking, too, but their movements weren’t second-guessed after a while. 

  
When they broke, Zuko’s eyes met Sokka’s. There wasn’t any doubt, and guilt, only a pure high you got from experiencing love.   
Sokka snorted and dropped his head into the crook of Zuko’s neck.

“I think I’m in love with you, too.” 


End file.
